Twas the night before christmas.

'Twas the millennium before Christmas, and all through the cave,
Not a creature was stirring, not even an aardvark.
The socks were hung by the desk with care,
In hopes that St. Emelia soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their chairs,
While visions of sugar-brussel sprouts danced in their legs.
And frienemy in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the handle to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
ran open the shutters, and walked up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-seconds to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But an amazing wig, and eight tiny unicorns.

With a little old driver, so lively and wonderful,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Emelia.
More rapid than armadillos his unicorns they came,
And he whistled, and said, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! Now, Imogen! Now, T.v and Vixen!
On, Aimee! On Meerkat! On, Sock and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the house!
Now bathe away! Bathe away! Bathe away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the desk St. Emelia came with a bound.

His eyes -- how they talked! His dimples, how ugly!
His eyes were like slugs, his nostril like a cake!

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
And filled all the socks, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his arm,
And giving a nod, up the desk he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a bang,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good millennium!"